Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Journal: What's in these things?

Yesterday, my wife was taking a load of laundry out of the dryer. She pulled out a pair of my cargo shorts, when she notice something very large and heavy and wettish in one of the pockets. It was, of course, a Depend Guard for Men (unused) that I'd forgotten to remove.

She brought up the shorts to show me, and I was amazed. The shorts weighed about five pounds, and the pocket where the pad had been was absolutely full of this sort of goo. I shoved my hand in the pocket to scoop it out, and it felt like the most disgusting sort of gooey mush, like wet kleenex mixed with jello. Bleh.

I dumped a handful into the garbage and expected that my hand would be moist and gooey. It wasn't. It was as if all the gooeyness had stuck to the goo. I imagine that's exactly the point. I wonder what sort of space-age polymer I have, even now, secretly tucked into my underpants. And I wonder how best to get the rest of that goo out of my pocket.
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2 comments:

Linda D. said...

Hmmm...do you REALLY want to know what that stuff is?!? Sometimes what we don't know can hurt us...sometimes what we don't know is, well, keeping our butts dry! I suppose as long as it isn't cancer-causing or MS-causing, it's probably only ruining the environment...the price we pay. LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

mdmhvonpa said...

They use that for figthing fires too. Great stuff. Toxic, but great.