Convalescent

That's me resplendent in red sweat pants and tighty-whities, sporting my Interstim test unit. Aside from whatever benefit I get (or don't) from the device, I feel like my post-op convalescence is giving me an advance peek of what it might be like if my MS progresses in a significant way.

I'm needing significant help getting dressed and undressed, and I'm not able to provide much help taking the dogs out or making dinner. And because I just happen to have some work that's well-suited to doing at home, I'm home alone except for the dogs. I was a little weird to say goodbye to Carmen this morning as she headed off to school for the day, not intending to be back until 6 tonite. If for only a few days, I'm getting a taste of being a needy, grateful, self-conscious care-givee.

I'm incredibly lucky to be married to a natural-born caregiver. Even so, I wonder about how long she'd be able to look after me, how long her incredible loyalty would hold up. This less than 48 hours after surgery. Illness must have an incredible power to alter the dynamic of a marriage. It's obvious, I know, but it seems true to me in a new way today.